My good friend always told me “charity starts from home…” She opens up her house to organize sleep over party for the children with severe physical disabilities, and coordinate other charity functions for the people in need around her neighborhood. I always admire her effort, and feeling a bit guilty about not being able to help my neighbors as much as I could or to simply spend quality time with my family due to my frequent travels to work overseas.

I have been staying at home lately, and have more time to reconnect with my friends. Most of my friends are not in the field of aging, but we almost always ended up talking about my work and passion for aging issue at the end, which I feel a bit guilty about it too….

I have received an e-mail from my friend who works at foreign service after a small party at my home, and her message brought me a smile and joy.

“Emi:  I’m sorry to be so late in emailing – but thank you very much for
a lovely night and dinner on Saturday.  It is always a great fun to be
with you and your husband.  I went home thinking about old age in new ways —
change one person at a time!”

I am so grateful for her encouragement, because our ibasho effort cannot be successful without changing our pre-conceived idea about “how old people should be treated.” Her email made me realize that what I try to achieve is not simply building an “ibasho community,” but to give elders opportunity to create their own space and the life in there, not a given place where one has to adapt.

After reading her message, I felt such an accomplishment. I do hope that what Ibasho advocates can help people to start thinking about creating (rather than given) space where one can feel at home, being oneself.

“Changing one person at a time….” I should not lose sight on this concept.